What is the Sound of Engagement?* A Manager Needs to Know
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Probably the most common mistake I watch managers make daily in the workplace is addressing their reports as if they are in the same frame of mind. When people are nodding their heads, it means they are nodding their heads; that's it!
(* This post applies anytime you are counting on the collaboration of others., manager or not.)
Take a look at this group in the picture above. (Never mind the boats and water in the background, get back to business here!) Are they ready to contribute or have they assumed some pretense? Look, they have their paperwork out and turned to the first page and they seem attentive! (So do you when you assume this posture so now you know how much stock to put in their appearances.)
You may have never thought about it but as a manager you need to be aware that engagement has at least three voices, Contribution,Compliance and Resistance, which are frames of mind your reports can be in at any time...
· depending on the day
· the conversation topic
· what happened to them last night at home or this morning
· what they were doing or
· who they were talking to just before they came to your meeting
· and, and, and …or, or, or…life will not leave us alone.
So now, what do I mean when I reference “frames of mind?” Frame, like window frame, the place we are looking at the world from at any moment is more kaleidoscopic than fixed. (What you said to me yesterday was fine and welcome, say the same thing today after I have just had a tough conversation with a peer in another department and I may ‘jump down your throat, much to your surprise and dismay.) We are always giving voice to our frame of mind if others would just listen and watch
Engaged, associated by choice, is a condition of being, and there are both ultimate and interim conditions of being to consider. Ultimate engagement arises from commitments to choices made. Interim engagement is subject to the slings and arrows of everyday/every moment life and constantly in flux. Ultimately, I am completely committed to the success of my marriage; in the interim, my wife has asked me to check under the house for a water leak! Given my aversion to both maintenance and the underside of the house about the best I can muster up for this one is an “Okey Doke honey!” and grudgingly crawl under after just about anything else I can think of that just “has to be done” before checking for the leak. As it turns out my wife knows that my ultimate commitment to the marriage always wins out over my weasel mind and she will get her report on the alleged leak sooner rather than later, so she doesn’t try to handle my dawdling.
What is this interim Voice of engagement thing, the one we usually hear from in the moment?
Voice of Contribution- “I am on it honey thanks for letting me know there may be a problem”, followed by action.
Voice of Compliance- As above, “Okey Doke honey”, followed by going to the refrigerator ,making a sandwich, watching some of the ballgame and then crawling under the house.
Voice of Resistance- “It rained last week and I don’t want to get muddy so I’ll get to it next week, its probably nothing.”, followed by no action until asked again.
I hope that you can translate these personal examples into your own when addressing your team or another co-worker while engaged in getting something done.
Message for today: If you don’t check in with people (ask) you run the risk of talking to yourself and assuming that head nods, Okey Dokes and even “You got it boss” means that something is going to happen and you can count on it.
So, do you know your reports as well as my wife knows me; I didn’t think so.
- How many times have you been burned by talking with your folks as though they are right there with you?
- How many times have you known they were not right there with you and you went right on talking as though you could talk them into it?
- How many times have you taken their silence to mean assent and walked away hoping you were going to get what you asked for.
Is this too basic? I wish it were and I don’t by any means want to insult anyone, unless it will help get this clear, when you are not winning as a manager start with where people are at. Address them where they are, not where you wish they were. Be curious, find out why they may not be engaged, ask what you can offer to address misunderstandings or fears directly. In the interim getting in communication is the result to be produced, ultimately it will get you where you want to go.
Where are you assuming engagement and getting egg on your face?
For an alternative to the manager's perspective, to see how "life at work" can impact the individual, take a look at All Things Workplace by Steve Roesler especially the post of February 25th, What Happened to the Talent?
I recommend a regular visit to Steve's site, you'll get hooked.
you mean like -- honey would you fix the front closet doorknob, it hurts my hand when I try to open it. --
Sure dear, I will get right at it. (next week) Do you remember my asking you to fix the front closet doorknob? Guess I will have to call a repairman to get it done? No, I'll fix it, be patient. (next week) I called the repairman he will be out tomorrow to fix the closet door. You can cancel that - I'm going to fix it right now!! is that "engagement?"
Mom, am not sure what it says about the quality of my blog when you use is to dis my Dad...but thanks for reading. The point was to be able to recognize where people are at by tracking their actions against their words, I think you got it right.
"Checking in" is oh so important. Checking in requires taking a deep breath and opening the channels, but this also requires letting go of control, and while necessary, it is always a challenge, particularly in the face of time constraints which can be one of the great oppressors.
Your message is oh so true, and just yesterday in a meeting, I wondered whether I was reading the signals right, and we were in fact talking about how to measure progress in development of competencies, and I was explaining the importance of "checking in" with others you engage with. So now, after reading this, I think I will model that behavior, and check in with the managers I met with. Thanks!
Mike,
Your kind mention is much appreciated.
The Voice of Engagement theme hit me between the eyes in its directness and simplicity (in addition to the fact that I, too, am averse to maintenance which is why God gave us the Yellow Pages just prior to Al Gore giving us the internet).
Here's where your "Voice" hit home with me. I work a lot with companies initiating major changes and am brought in to help guide that process. The same "voice" examples are practical tools to use with managers and employees as they listen to reactions surrounding new initiatives and organizational changes.
Kudos, Mike. I'm a fan of profound simplicity and you've nailed it with this.
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